Today marks one trip around the sun on testosterone. I remember sitting in my room on the night after my first shot wondering what my life would look like a year later.
The weekend before I showed up at the steps of Lyon Martin for my first testosterone injection I escaped to nature with some friends. I found out later that one of them snapped this picture of me standing on the edge of Lake Tahoe. It was a warm sunset and I was on the eve of change. It felt like the calm before the storm, but instead of bracing for impact I was ready to give in, to ride the waves where they would take me.
The last 365 days have been big – for me and for trans politics. The week I started testosterone the SF Mr Transman pageant was hosted in SF and a few weeks later I was packed into a large auditorium listening to Lavern Cox lecture on womanhood. This year Transparent won big at the Golden Globes, health insurance started announcing transgender policies, Janet Mock schooled Piers Morgan on national TV, Against Me!’s new album debuted, countless fights for trans-inclusive policies hit high schools across the country, and last week for the first time in American history Obama said the word “transgender” in the #SOTU. Social media site Facebook first rolled out multiple options for gender identity, but then sparked major controversy with its “real name” policy. While exposure and conversations have increased, violence in trans communities and against trans individuals is rising with sobering statistics. Here’s hoping for a better and safer 2015.
Last weekend I once again headed into the woods and a different friend snapped this photograph while I wasn’t looking. I almost couldn’t believe it when I saw it, what a bookend to this first year. This time I was at the ocean and waves crashed in over a pebble-covered beach. This time I’m more confident, strong, and comfortable in my body. This time I’m driven with a happiness from deep within me that I didn’t know existed before. And it’s propelling me into a future that I couldn’t be more ready for.